Hey lovelies,
It’s Life Update time today, because it’s been way too long and y’all deserve to hear from me. It’s going to be a very honest one, so be prepared.
We’re not doing well. I know this is not what you’d like to hear, and it’s very much not what I want to tell you, but it is the truth. Don’t get me wrong, we’re holding on, still doing the things we’re supposed to do, and we’re taking care of ourselves as well as we possibly can. But life is hard.
There are many things (the most important ones, actually) I can’t openly talk about. I really, really wish I could. Because it would make y’all understand the situation so much better. But I can’t. For safety reasons. (If you are one of the people who has my number, email or Discord, I will happily tell you what’s up in a private message.) I understand some of you might be annoyed. We’re together now, things should be “fixed”. This is unfortunately not the way it works.
We still feel blessed waking up and going to sleep together every single day. Getting to eat together, do mundane tasks, look each other in the eye while talking, being able to touch each other whenever we feel like it. Yes, these things are still amazing and we are making sure to never ever take them for granted. Truth is though, we are far from out of this shit.
Financially we are still struggling (dare I say more than before I moved here), we’re unable to get out of the living situation, and David still hasn’t been able to get out of his ever worsening work situation. Again, finding a job is hard when all you have is your two legs, in a place where everything is made for car distances. Public transport is nearly non-existent, and having to use Lyft negates any possible income increase. Streaming or other work from home isn’t possible for either of us because of the living situation.
I also still have no word about my permanent residence status. Which in the current political climate isn’t a great feeling. (And that’s all I am willing to say about that, this is yet another thing I can’t talk much about publicly.)
On top of all this, Florida weather is making everything extra hard. There is no way to explain subtropical climate to someone who hasn’t lived it. Just take it from me, existing is hard work, especially without a car, money, and certain amenities.
Please don’t take this as a bunch of negative whining. It is simply a realistic, yet much watered down, version of our daily life. We will get where we need to be. It will just take a lot of hard work and a lot of time. Since both of us are chronically depressed and otherwise disabled, it is hard to navigate and overcome these kinds of hardship, but we will.
Thank you for still being part of our journey and rooting for us. And don’t worry, I will still be posting about the Weird and Wonderful in this blog. I’ve been taking pictures and writing down ideas, so I promise you’ll get treated! The weather may be trying to kill me, but Pensacola is still an absolute paradise I am grateful to call my home!
Big hugs,
Didi
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