Crossing The Atlantic

Hey lovelies!

Last week was a HUGE one full of firsts! The two biggest things: Mem got on a transatlantic flight from The Netherlands to the US, and she finally got to meet David in person! She arrived on Tuesday night April 22nd and left in the morning of Monday April 28th. Let me tell you a little bit about our adventure.

First of all

Before I start telling you about fun things (with pictures of course), I will say that I fully expect this to be the first and last time she was here. Mem is almost 75, has several chronic disabilities, and this flight really is no joke. This knowledge made me put an enormous amount of pressure on myself. I really wanted to make the most of our short time together, which is a challenge in our current situation, and of course with my own disabilities.

I know this’ll be a super long post, but please read the entire thing. I’m saving some important things for the end. 😉

The first night

I’ll keep it short and… sweet..? Ehm… The flight was horrible. Mem had no wifi, and a massive delay made sure she missed her second flight, then arrived close to midnight instead of 7pm. Meanwhile for me, everything that could go wrong, did. And then some. I won’t elaborate, but it really felt like I was living one of my bizarre neverending nightmares. But in the end, we both made it to the hotel, Mem and David finally got to hug, and that’s all that matters.

Our plans for dinner and beer had to be postponed to the next day, and David needed to get to bed ASAP, as he had to get up at 6am again the next morning.

Our first time in this hotel… and the last!

The fact that neither of us took pictures of our room probably says enough. We will never be staying in this hotel again, and I’m working on a review to warn others that they shouldn’t either. Good grief what a mess. 

Despite confirming beforehand that I was allowed to check in (as we were both on the reservation, and Mem would be in the air at check-in time) they almost didn’t let me. It took some serious convincing and then a near-fight between two workers, but eventually they let me check in. 

Keys didn’t work 80% of the time. All drawers and cabinets were empty. We had to ask for things like plates, bowls, cutlery, the remote control (which didn’t work, by the way) etc. The “grab and go breakfast” they bragged about consisted of very few prepackaged muffins, packs of instant plain oatmeal and grits, hot water, and something that didn’t even smell like coffee, let alone taste like it.

But most of all… The place was straight up filthy.

Mem’s first American “breakfast”

After experiencing aforementioned “breakfast”, we decided to walk to one of the nearest places to eat. Since it was already noon, breakfast foods weren’t served anywhere anymore, so we ate a simple meal of fries and frosties at Wendy’s. I’m including this, because it is the only food pic I have. I kind of regret not taking pics of our other breakfasts, snacks, and dinners, but honestly, enjoying ourselves was much more important than the camera.

Thursday, firsts day

Thursday was David’s first day off during Mem’s visit, so we took Mem to Waffle House for a decent coffee and our go-to breakfast: a hashbrown bowl with scrambled eggs, bacon, cheese, onions and jalapeños. After that we sunscreened up and drove to Pensacola Beach. 

It was my first time seeing the white sand and emerald green water on a cloudy day. Although I would have loved for Mem to see all of the vibrant colors blue skies bring along, it was still amazing as always. We spent some time checking out sea shells, and I stared into the distance while David and Mem chatted along.

And then… an unlikely friend appeared! A Great Blue Heron landed only a few meters from us, paraded past us, stood still a while to check us out, then took off once it caught the attention of other people.

As we left the beach, I tried to take some sneaky pics of David and Mem walking together, but of course they both realized what I was doing. 😉

After all this, we took Mem to the mall, to show her that most shops really aren’t all that interesting around here. (Sorry Mem, haha!) For dinner we had some really good street tacos, because listen, you can’t possibly ignore those when you’re here!

Alabama detour

As it was such a short trip, all three of us have our own disabilities, we’re not made of money, and David still had to work like normal, we didn’t do a whole lot of crazy things. We walked and drove around some, visited stores like Walmart, Sam’s Club, Dollar General and Five Below, and ate as many kinds of “new” foods as possible. Saturday night was a little bit different though…

It was supposed to be a fairly clear night, and I really wanted to show Mem how beautiful and different the night skies are here. But because of Mem’s eye condition, we would need a pretty dark place, with as little light pollution as possible. So we decided to once again drive to the beach. However, another beach this time… across the border in Alabama! 

Now, it had been quite a few years since David had been there, and long story short: everything has changed. Many more buildings, much more light pollution, and… paid parking lots that close after sundown…

We didn’t get to see the stars, but we did have a nice drive, see a beautiful sunset from the car, and had Mem set foot in Alabama! ;p

Very Important Message

Let me take this moment to show some serious gratitude, and get some things off my chest. 

Mem, thank you so much. For your love and support (over the past 3 years and continuing), the Dutch food packages, going on this crazy trip, bringing me some of my belongings, paying for a rental car and other expenses so we could actually do some stuff together, and so much more…

David, thank you for being the best husband and son in law I (and Mem) could have possibly wished for. I’m so proud of you for how far you’ve come since we met, and for how you’re handling the hard times we’ve been continuously facing. 

There’s no way to explain how I felt, seeing Mem and David finally meet in person, getting along so well, hugging, laughing, talking about so many subjects, sharing beautiful, funny, and sad memories… 

To be completely honest as always: I was having a hard time last week. I wanted to do so much more, I wanted to be better company so bad… But I’m not made for changing routines, arranging and planning things by myself, being social every day, and doing things like shopping, ordering food at a counter, and having conversations with strangers multiple days in a row. So I got snappy, had meltdowns and panic attacks, and on the last night I couldn’t contain myself anymore and had the worst meltdown I’ve had in probably at least a year. 

Mem and David: Thank you for not judging me, and for loving and supporting me. It really means the world.

Hopefully next year we can meet again. If not in the US, then maybe in The Netherlands. 

Big hugs,
Didi